Jim and his problems

Today I had a little problem that goes by the name of Jim. Jim is in a really bad mood because I think he got a little too much beer at the beer party. I'm not saying Jim's a drunken jerk(which he is) but his blood is fifty percent beer(the other fifty percent is antidepressants). So today Jim greeted me by throwing a toaster(which is pretty hard without hands) at my face and saying
"TOAST NOW" without realizing that if I plugged it in, it would electrocute both of us. I knew that if I didn't find some toast soon Jim would kill me so I tried to find something else that looked like toast(please don't sue if this kills you). To make the toast like thing I started by putting a slice of pizza on a meatloaf then I lathered it with relish, squirted lemon juice on it, dunked it in vinegar, and deep fried it in Gary's oven(it looked like toast to me because I've never seen toast before I'm a fish). So I give Jim the toast like thing and he eats it in one bite. I thought he was going to throw up but he just says "MORE NOW"and throws a toaster at me daja vu. That's one
of the problems Jim has he likes to throw toasters at people. He does this because he once burnt his fin in a toaster(I have no idea how he did that) so every time he can throw a toast he does so he can have his revenge on the toaster kind. So he ate and ate and ate the toast like thing for three hours strait till he passed out on the floor.