The Fair

Today the fair moved to the fish bowl(which is pretty hard considering how small the fish bowl is). I think Jim enjoyed ripping of all the games by knocking out all of the clerks with a bat and stealing all the prizes. But I wish he didn't pillage the toaster store I don't think my head can take much more of this. To avoid a major concussion I went to see the jugglers. It sounded something like this "One, Two, Three boink, boink, boink %$@* %$@* %$@*". The lion tamer sounded similar but not the same. It sounded something like this "back, back, back stand, stand, stand gulp, gulp, gulp". After I'd finished watching the jugglers curse I went to find the clowns I needed a good laugh sense Jim had banned laughing from the fish bowl because it was one of the million things he hated. When I got to the clown house I saw Jim swimming out really fast with a mob of clowns behind him. Turns out Jim insulted the clowns about laughing to much but the clowns wanted to laugh so they formed a mob and chased us out. That's the least illegal exit we've made in a long time.

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Jim and his problems

Today I had a little problem that goes by the name of Jim. Jim is in a really bad mood because I think he got a little too much beer at the beer party. I'm not saying Jim's a drunken jerk(which he is) but his blood is fifty percent beer(the other fifty percent is antidepressants). So today Jim greeted me by throwing a toaster(which is pretty hard without hands) at my face and saying
"TOAST NOW" without realizing that if I plugged it in, it would electrocute both of us. I knew that if I didn't find some toast soon Jim would kill me so I tried to find something else that looked like toast(please don't sue if this kills you). To make the toast like thing I started by putting a slice of pizza on a meatloaf then I lathered it with relish, squirted lemon juice on it, dunked it in vinegar, and deep fried it in Gary's oven(it looked like toast to me because I've never seen toast before I'm a fish). So I give Jim the toast like thing and he eats it in one bite. I thought he was going to throw up but he just says "MORE NOW"and throws a toaster at me daja vu. That's one
of the problems Jim has he likes to throw toasters at people. He does this because he once burnt his fin in a toaster(I have no idea how he did that) so every time he can throw a toast he does so he can have his revenge on the toaster kind. So he ate and ate and ate the toast like thing for three hours strait till he passed out on the floor.

Life in the fishbowl

Today is the first time me and Jim are posting so we thought we should post about how we got the ability to even go to blogger sense we're fish living in a fishbowl. Are owner Gary was having a party(A beer party) and it went on for about five hours. That's five hours of drinking but in the first five minutes everyone starts throwing up(the softies). So after everyone stops throwing up they're still pretty drunk one of them walks over to are fishbowl and starts talking to us. This guy was nuts, so he starts talking to us and we're just looking at him chatting away and here's whats scary he thinks we're talking back. So sometimes he gets angry and starts banging on the glass then he feels bad and starts hugging the bowl. So eventually he said "I feel sorry for you unable to call your family in the sea" so he gives us his phone(which is waterproof) and says "Now you can call your family any time you want". Turns out the phone had unlimited internet but no calling plan at all.